Let's face it. Your initial thoughts, feelings, and emotional reactions are not always right. They are often nano-second responses to life situations that often leave your rational brain response in the dust. As the saying goes, "I don't know what I was thinking!" You weren't! Your responses are natural and necessary, but if left to themselves and not processed, they can wreak havoc in your life. Letting those thoughts, feelings, and emotions go rogue without engaging our brain in evaluating whether they are true or lies or whether they serve us or not may bring us down a destructive path. We may entertain ideas that result in this toxic thought, increasing its power and catapulting us into negativity, false conclusions, wrong mechanisms of coping, and all this can lead us into hopelessness.
In addition, our perceptions are often further skewed if we experience trauma, codependency relationships, or a broken childhood. In addition to your environment being less than ideal, you may not have learned how to cultivate healthy responses to conflict and positive resolutions through healthy communication.
There is a better way…
A healthier process is to take your thoughts, feelings, and emotions and gather them into one space. Write them down. Now, they are outside of you. The energy they produce no longer gains speed and power, thereby thwarting a knee-jerk reaction. Dr. Caroline Leaf refers to it as the "MPA" (multiple perspective advantage). We all possess this ability to see our reactions from outside ourselves. This neural pathway is located in the frontal lobe of our brain.
Most of us bypass the utilization of the MPA and thereby react without analyzing the situation.
So, to continue with the process, after writing the thoughts, feelings, and emotions down, go back over what you have written. Do this several times on several occasions. Now, you may see things in a different light. Maybe your initial negativity was attributed to being Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired (HALT - stop everything and re-assess). Maybe there is something deeper going on that needs further exploration and healing. Either way, it allows you to gain insight into possible solutions for the issue. This process can save you from countless poor outcomes and pave a better path for your future.
Dr. Anita Arrunategui/"Switch on your Brain", Dr. Caroline Leaf/Images: Canva Pro
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